Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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