when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
