chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
