My friends, they love my intelligence
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
