lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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