the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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