I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
