Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
