if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
