just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
