is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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