I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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