even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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