Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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