Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
