i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
