Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
