i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
she peed on how many people?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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