Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
