Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
