By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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