Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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