I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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