Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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