My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
