I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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