hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
she woke up with a sticky ear
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
