This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
