i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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