Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
