I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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