Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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