I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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