Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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