Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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