i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
