And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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