One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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