dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
