Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
