Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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