It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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