these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
