OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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