i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
