We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
