Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
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