Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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