I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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