my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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