How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
