Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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