Non-Jews are for practice
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
