We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
We named our party play list daddy issues
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
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