Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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