Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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