i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
