return my video game
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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