so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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