Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
