Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
We're too hungover to prance.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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