im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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