only if we run a train.
done.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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