And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
