She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
