quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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